I Just Don't Want It To Be True
by Angel of Music lover
Summary: Written for Hersheygal. Maureen breaks up with Mark and Roger tries to comfort him. Just a random little oneshot. Not MarkRoger in any way.


**A/N: Just to let you all know, this little oneshot is dedicated to hersheygal because of her rather intense liking of Mark and because she puts up with my Roger rants. Yay! This will take place after the Maureen/Mark breakup and just kind of talk about how Mark handles it, how Maureen handles it, and how Roger comforts Mark. That way Hershey, it answers both of the things you wanted to see the most. Double yay! Oh, and definitely NOT Mark/Roger. Unless it was Mark/Roger friendship. **

**Also, rated "T" for a swear word. It's only used about once because I thought it was necessary to the character that was speaking… so… :D Heads up!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own RENT or any of its characters. **

Mark kinda wished that the roaring sounds in his ears would go away for a minute. That way he could comprehend what Maureen had just told him.

"Wh-What?" he asked as the world began to slowly tilt. Funny… the world only did that in his camera…

Maureen sighed and guided Mark to a chair gently. She then took a deep breath and stared straight at Mark.

Mark had an overwhelming desire to kiss her.

"Mark… I'm sorry but I don't love you anymore," Maureen repeated, slower this time. Mark blinked and instantly all desire to press his lips against hers was gone. Instead a tingling spread from his feet to his ears and his stomach churned dangerously.

A long silence continued during which Maureen picked a flaking piece of paint on the wall while Mark tried to get a hold of himself to respond.

"When?" was all he asked. With the word came a dumb acceptance of the fact that had just been presented to him and the bile threatened to choke Mark. He swallowed painfully but managed to look up at Maureen. She remained stoic with her answer, trying her best not to hurt Mark.

"Nearly two months ago," she replied. Mark stared at her blankly and for once didn't adore the way that her eyes seemed to bore into his. All he wanted was to try and wake up from whatever nightmare he was currently trapped in. Or escape the alternate reality that he stumbled upon.

"Who is he?" Mark asked, feeling some sort of awakening inside of him. The roaring in his eardrums didn't lessen but his ability to talk over it was enhanced. Maureen smiled slightly and it tore at Mark's heart and left a gushing wound. She once smiled that way when she referred to him…

"_Her _name is Joanne. _She's_ a lawyer," Maureen said, correcting him gently. This new information slammed into Mark's feeble body with the force of a speeding bus. He did not stagger as he normally would with this impact but instead grimaced. Maureen noticed and cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh god," Mark cried out and slumped even further into his chair. "Oh god," he repeated only in more of a whimper. "I drove you to be a lesbian!" Maureen sighed heavily and shook her head.

"No, _I decided _to be a lesbian Mark," she snapped with a little more force than she intended. Mark didn't seem to be paying attention though because he was too preoccupied hyperventilating.

"What did I do wrong?" he asked, finding his voice once more. "Was it because of the present I got you on your birthday because I swear…" Mark began but Maureen cut him off snippily.

"Stop it Mark!" she hissed and made her way to the door. "I understand this is sudden and unexpected but you're going to have to get over it!" There was a tense silence and Mark stared at his hands uncomfortably.

"I guess I just don't want it to be true," he mumbled without looking up. Maureen was quiet, thinking over his response.

"Well it is Mark…" With that hanging in the air, Maureen practically ran to the sliding door and flung herself out of the Loft with whatever personal belongings were attached to her wrists. Mark stared at the door and didn't even flinch as the door slammed shut.

And that was where his roommate Roger Davis found him several minutes later.

Mark could hear the staggering steps of Roger but ignored the fact that he heard them. Instead he continued to stare at the door with trembling fingers and watering eyes.

"Wha' was that?" Roger mumbled as he stumbled the rest of the way over to Mark. Mark didn't even have to look up to recognize that Roger had been sleeping prior to the door slamming. "I heard a loud noise," he yawned, sounding a little more awake.

Still no response.

Roger frowned and stared down at his best friend with bleary eyes. Now that his eyes were focusing a little more he noticed that Mark looked a little pale and weak. Maybe he was sick.

"You want me to make some coffee?" Roger offered and made his way to the kitchenette. "You look like you could use it," he added with utter seriousness. There was no joking with Mark when he was in such a state. Mark turned to look at Roger for the first time and as Roger was filling the filter with the low-grade coffee grinds he felt the look. And he knew.

"Oh shit." Mark made a pained face and turned back to the door as the roaring continued. He felt as if he were being pushed underwater… "Where's Maureen?" Roger asked as he just now noticed that the diva was nowhere in sight.

"Maureen left," Mark whispered in a hoarse voice. Roger stared at his friend and felt the cold reality seep in. Was he ready to take on something like this?

"_How could someone like me help someone like Mark?"_ Roger asked himself as he continued to stare at Mark. _"I've only thought of myself since April… left."_ Roger then realized that both he and Mark were in the same boat now. It was best to just start with asking what happened.

"What happened?" Roger asked as soothingly as he could. Mark grunted but after a moment forced himself to answer.

"She left. Joanne…" Mark paused and took as deep a breath as he could muster. "She loves a lawyer named Joanne." Roger waited solemnly to see if there was anymore that Mark wanted to say but when nothing came he sighed heavily.

"Listen Mark…" Roger began but was cutoff by Mark.

"You don't have to…" Mark protested and struggled up to his feet. "You've been through too much… don't bother," he insisted and gave his friend a wane smile. Roger frowned deeply and forced Mark back into the chair.

"Hey, you've been there for me. When I was too fucking high to give a shit about anything, when April killed herself, when we both went to the doctor to make sure that I was really HIV positive, and through withdrawals," Roger explained with a forced smile. Remembering all that crap was rather painful but he figured it was worth it for Mark. "Let me talk." Mark sighed but sagged in defeat.

"I'm really fine Roger," he protested once more but his voice was weak. Roger let out a short laugh.

"So that's why you look about ready to keel over at any second?" Roger demanded. Mark was silent. Roger took this as his cue to start talking.

"Okay Mark… Maureen was probably your first real, serious girlfriend ever." Mark winced at this and stared up at Roger accusingly. "I'm getting to all the feel-good stuff Mark now be patient. It hurts before it gets better." Roger paused as though thoughtful. "I should write that one down…" he murmured.

Mark snorted.

"Anyway," Roger continued and pulled up a chair next to his friend. "What I'm trying to say is that shit happens. Your girlfriend leaves you and if it was the right girl, it hurts like hell." Roger stopped for a moment and examined Mark. He seemed to be doing okay so he continued on. "But it gets better…" Roger prompted with a smile, thinking he did a rather good job handling the situation.

"Yeah," Mark retorted sarcastically, "You're such a wonderful example of that Roger." Roger pulled back, a little stung by Mark's words. He decided to continue trying though and forced his growing temper back down into his stomach.

"You're not listening Mark," Roger sighed with as little venom as possible. "I'm saying that you'll get over Maureen. It just takes a little work getting there," he reasoned.

"I loved her Roger!" Mark snapped, eyes blazing. "I was truly in love with her… okay?" Roger was silent and he stared at his friend curiously. "And don't you use that whole 'And I was in love with April' crap because we both know that you aren't over her yet either!" Mark added as an afterthought. The hurt expression on his friend's face was enough to make him want to retract the statement. But he didn't.

A tense silence followed and the two friends stared at each other. The seconds ticked by and the emotions mounted. Roger experiencing anger, hurt, and sympathy while Mark felt guilty, miserable, and frustrated. Something in Mark's face set off a trigger somewhere in Roger's mind.

Roger spread his arms out wide and looked meaningfully at Mark. Mark stared at the outstretched arms for several second before throwing himself into them and fiercely returning the embrace. Roger grunted at the sudden impact but kept himself as steady as possible. To be honest, he didn't really expect Mark to accept the comfort that he offered.

"It'll be okay, Mark," Roger sighed and awkwardly held his friend as he sniffled. Mark didn't answer because he was too busy clinging to Roger's loose nightshirt and burying his face in his broad shoulders. Then, just as suddenly Mark drew away and wiped his eyes from under his glasses with a pained expression.

"I'm so sorry Roger… I should have never said that about April," Mark apologized in a loud voice. Roger gave a small smile and nodded his head tentatively.

"I know Mark," he assured though the sting of the words still left a mark. Mark whimpered and gave a fleeting glance at the door before turning his blue eyes back to Roger's face.

"It's just… I can't believe that she's gone," he whispered and fiddled with a loose string on his shirt. "It's like I'm in some horrible nightmare…" Mark began to explain but allowed himself to trail off. Roger just sighed again and leaned forward in his seat.

"It's funny how such a normal day can take such a drastic turn isn't it?" Roger agreed and stared down at his hands. Mark also sighed wistfully and tried to control his shaking hands.

Another prolonged silence followed but it was not awkward like the others. It was thoughtful and brooding… but comfortable.

"So are you gonna finish that coffee or what?" Mark asked as an attempt to change the subject. Roger stared at him blankly before recognition dawned on his features.

"Coming right up," he whispered and headed towards the kitchen. Mark thanked him but allowed his eyes to look at the door. He then glanced at his camera thoughtfully and pulled the bag closer to him.

Despite his still trembling fingers Mark managed to unbuckle the case and felt the cool camera metal underneath his fingertips. Without thinking Mark stood and began to crank the camera, preparing to start shooting something. He wandered aimlessly down the hallway and found himself in his bedroom. The one that Maureen had currently inhabited with him.

"September 3rd, 11 a.m., eastern standard time," Mark began in his typical intro and angled the camera towards his face. "Today my girlfriend, Maureen, dumped me. She's in love with a lawyer named Joanne and she left nearly an hour ago." Mark paused as the gears continued to click and shift. "When I was talking to Roger I wondered how I was going to deal with this. Roger dealt with April by going into an almost comatose state and hiding from the world. Maybe I should through myself into another documentary since I'm not really the 'hide from the world' type of guy." Mark smiled and flicked the camera back off, feeling a little more satisfied with himself.

Being behind the camera made him feel better.

Back in the kitchen Roger also began to wonder how Mark would deal with this new loss. When he began to head down the hallway to bring Mark his coffee he heard the whir of the camera and frowned.

He sensed a new obsession coming on.

**A/N: Well there you go Hershey, I finally wrote this!! Lol!! Anyway, I might write just one more that's more lighthearted and fluffy. For now though, please review!!**


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